Research done by Jolyn:
Got a Dream?
Here's how to make it happen.
By Keith Ferrazzi
From Reader's Digest
The Power of Relationships
A few years ago, I was in New York City to advise two large banks on the secret to success in business. On the way in from the airport, I struck up a conversation with my taxi driver.
Tony was from India. He had studied to be a marine biologist but could not get a decent job in that field here. He was doing okay driving a cab, he said, "but in coming all this way, I had hoped to do better than just get by."
The more we talked, the more I realized that the counseling I provide to corporate executives also applies to average people like Tony. Like too many of us, Tony thought that being self-reliant meant never asking for help. But we need to nurture relationships in order to achieve our goals.
Tony liked to chat with his customers, yet he didn't want to bother them. I urged him to give it a try.
And he did. Not only did his customers ask that he take them to the airport at the end of their trip, they recommended him to their friends. Soon he had a long list of regulars and was able to buy his own Town Car, then a second. He had to hire a friend to help with the overflow.
Each of us contains seeds of greatness, which can be expressed in myriad ways, from starting a business to giving back to our community to raising the next generation of leaders. Life is all about finding that seed and nurturing it to its full growth. I know it's possible, because I'm living proof.
I am the son of a steelworker and a cleaning woman. My dad would come home, his hands scraped and dirty, and say, "I don't want this for you, Keith. You need a great education."
Although my father didn't know the CEO of his company, he wasn't afraid to introduce himself and ask for his advice. The CEO liked my dad's moxie and used his influence to get me a scholarship at one of the best private schools in the country. I went on to Yale University and Harvard Business School. Soon I was the youngest chief marketing officer in the Fortune 500.
I learned at a young age that the secret to success lies in the power of relationships. Consider the people who've helped you along the way as coaches. Corporate execs, celebrities and athletic aces routinely hire "life coaches" to help them reach their goals or solve their problems.
But you don't need to hire a life coach. You can become your own. It won't cost you a penny, and it's easier than you think.
Focus
What do I really want?
Jennifer was about to give birth to her first child and had decided to turn her home office into a nursery. A self- employed Web designer, she was delighted about the baby but afraid of being isolated and losing the self-esteem that came with having built her own business. "I know I should be happy, and I am -- but I'm not," she confided. "I'm excited about starting a family, but I want my life too, and I want the community that has come with working."
What do I want? It's a simple question, yet many of us aren't sure. But -- surprise! -- it doesn't have to be all that difficult to answer. It's a matter of focus.
Have you ever looked through a telescope at something? You find a reference point to home in on, then fiddle with the settings. At first, it's too close, then it's too far away, finally it's just right. The point is, it takes many adjustments to bring the subject into focus. If you want to look at something else, the process starts again.
Goal-setting is the same way. Don't worry if at first you don't know exactly what you want to do. Just don't make the mistake of never committing to anything. Sometimes the answer is very simple: Just pick something!
Dr. Mark Goulston, author of Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, suggests you "look back in order to look forward." Examine your calendar at day's end during a typical week and grade each appointment or listing on a scale of -3 to +3, where -3 means "If I never do this again, it will be too soon" and +3 means "I could do this all day long, and I can't wait to do it again." Once you identify the recurring themes, you'll be able to better focus your dreams.
If you're still stumped, ask yourself two questions: What would I truly regret if I did not achieve it? What would I do if I knew I could not fail?
Don't be afraid to dream big -- or small. And don't let others define your success. Once you know what you want, just follow the next three steps to achieve it.
Diagnose
Get out of your own way
Everyone has a habit that once served us well but is now just dragging us down. It might not be drink or drugs, but it's an addiction nonetheless. Procrastination is an addiction. So is being defensive. Or refusing to accept responsibility for your mistakes.
My addiction was conflict avoidance. When I was growing up, I learned to give people (Mom, Dad, teachers, coaches) what they wanted, and I was rewarded -- pats on the back, good grades, team captain. But the flip side was that I didn't learn to ask what I, Keith, wanted for myself.
I was unable to say to a friend, "I'd rather not." Or to someone I was dating, "We should end this already." Or to an employee, "John, your performance is not acceptable."
It was only after I diagnosed this behavior that I could enlist friends and supporters to help me change it. They practiced with me on what to say to John and how to say it, paving the way for a productive, and easier, conversation. As a result, John altered his behavior and became a more effective member of the team.
Just as you may not know the negative behavior holding you back, you may be missing the positive trait that can propel you forward. Identifying your strengths is as important as naming your weaknesses because, like it or not, you're guided by these opposing forces.
I always joke that if you can't think of a behavior you want to change, I'm sure your spouse or a trusted friend will have a few ideas. Likewise, they're also the ones who'll tell you what they most admire about you.
What's the point of all this? There are few things that will make you feel as bad as blowing an opportunity because of a self-defeating behavior. Conversely, few things will make you feel as good -- and will gain you the respect of others -- as identifying and overcoming one of them.
Share
Help others, help yourself
Kim (not her real name) was in danger of being fired from her job at a small marketing firm. She was a whiz at Internet research but was such a perfectionist that she'd try to cover up her mistakes. She'd ask her boss for advice, then argue with him if she disagreed. With a pink slip almost guaranteed, Kim knew she needed help to save herself from herself. It was time to create her own dream team of advisors.
The most dramatic and enduring life changes often occur through community-based initiatives, like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous, where there are multiple people invested in your success and to whom you feel accountable. It makes sense to apply the same principles that have been so successful in dealing with self-destructive habits when creating your own self-guided community for personal growth.
Your "dream team" works best with about five people, all of whom care enough about you to be ruthlessly honest. Select people with diverse backgrounds -- your softball buddy, maybe your accountant and someone whose behavior you admire or whose position you aspire to. Not only will a diverse group come up with creative solutions, they are more likely to be plugged in to networks and resources you may not have access to yourself. Kim, for example, invited both a trusted colleague and her boss to join her team.
The trick is to listen to their critiques, and that's not always easy to do. Kim argued with her team so much that one member finally said, "Look, if you're going to ask for my advice and always disagree with it, it's not worth my making the effort to give it."
Of course, you can ask clarifying questions: "What do you mean by that?" or "What did you think when you saw me doing this?" But do not contradict them, even if you feel a team member has levied a terrible misjudgment. This is his "gift" to you. And if four out of five people are giving you the same gift, then chances are they're onto something.
Now, I bet you're thinking, Why would these folks do this? What do I have to offer that could possibly induce people, some of whom I barely know, to help me in this way?
In a word, you have your own generosity, and that is the fuel making this entire engine run. By reaching out to others with generosity, whether it's to recommend a new yoga class or to seek their counsel, you're laying the foundation for a long-term relationship. And I guarantee you'll be rewarded with a positive response.
Milestones
Plan it!
My friend Dr. Dean Ornish tells me that, in his experience, most people who survive a heart attack will eventually backslide to the same bad habits that put them on the operating table in the first place. Even fear of death, he says, is not a strong enough motivation to change ingrained habits.
But once people realize that they can have a better sex life, will dance at their child's wedding and see their grandchildren grow up, they start to exercise and eat right. They "get" the connection between aspiring to succeed and positive goal-driven activities.
It's a well-known saying in business that "what gets measured gets managed." That's why Weight Watchers insists on a weekly weigh-in.
Choose one of your goals and ask yourself, What do I need to do in the next 60 days to feel that I am on my way to success? If you want to be spiritually grounded, set up a series of meetings with a clergyman to talk about a study program. If you want that promotion, talk to your boss about what it will take to get it.
Next, determine your milestones, and take the pulse of your progress at prescribed checkpoints. At the beginning, talk to your dream team weekly about your progress. As you gain more confidence, extend the time between checkups to 30 days, then 60, then 90.
Don't be surprised if your focus shifts over time. That's normal. Every three to six months, reassess your goals and rethink your plan. You may even need to reach out and include new people in your support community. With her boss's encouragement and support, Kim left her old firm and started her own Internet marketing business. She is building a portfolio of satisfied clients and says she's happier than she's ever been.
Remember Jennifer? She worked through her conflicting emotions about having a baby and decided that this was actually an opportunity to help other pregnant women. She started a website that has grown into a vibrant interactive online community (suburbanCEO.com).
My dad always used to say, "Don't ever look back and wonder 'what if.'" You've got a dream, right? And now you've got the plan, so what are you waiting for?
Taken from Chicken Soup for the kid’s soul :
The Rock Club
One night when I was in second grade, I saw something on the news that really bothered me. It was about a group of homeless people sleeping outside in the cold, with nowhere to go for warmth and comfort. I felt sorry for them, and I wanted to help.
So I decided to start a club. The goal was to raise money to help the homeless. I called it the Rock Club. When I first started, we only had about five members, but that quickly grew to about twenty. It wasn't hard to get people to join the club. I hardly had to ask anybody if they wanted to be a member. In fact, they came up to me and just asked me if they could join!
We spent all of our free time at recess painting rocks. We painted animals, flowers and shapes – even names of sports teams. We all just worked on whatever we felt like painting.
We'd go around the school in search of teachers who would buy our rocks and use them as paperweights. We sold the rocks for five cents, ten cents and even up to twenty cents each. We painted one huge rock with polka dots that sold for five bucks! By Christmas, we had raised thirty-three dollars. We decided to give the money to a local homeless shelter.
My mom offered to take my friend and me to the shelter to deliver the money. When we pulled up, we noticed that there were whole families sitting on the snowy sidewalk. As we went into the building, I could not get the picture of what I had just seen out of my mind. I kept thinking about the little children, and all of the men and women with nowhere to sleep.
When we got inside, we met the lady at the front desk and gave her the money that the club had earned. She seemed really grateful for our donation. She invited us to take a tour of the shelter. I had never seen a real homeless shelter before, so I wanted to see the inside. As we toured the building, what really got to me were the rows and rows of tables set up to feed the hungry. There must have been over one hundred tables in there. In the kitchen, the helpers were making what seemed like endless rows of gingerbread men. It was amazing to me that for every gingerbread man, the shelter was expecting a person in need for dinner and shelter that night.
As we were leaving the homeless shelter, I saw a man sitting on the snow-covered pavement. He was wearing a dirty, dark green coat and black pants that were covered in mud. He was clutching to his side a Christmas tree covered with red ornaments. I felt so sorry for him because he had nowhere else to put a tree except the streets where he lived. It made me realize that even someone with no home, or money for presents, still wanted to have a Christmas.
The next day there was picture of that same man in the newspaper. I knew his image would stay with me forever. I hoped that his picture also reminded others about how much help the homeless people need, and that we should remember them all year – not only at Christmas.
A few days later, a newspaper reporter and a photographer came to our school and took a picture of our Rock Club members. The photo and article came out in the paper the next day. We all felt proud that we had done something that gave more attention to the needs of the homeless in our town.
Our school decided that what we did was really great, so they started a program just for kids. Now kids at our school are helping the homeless shelter and other organizations that help people in need.
Something as simple as some rocks, some paint and a few caring kids made me realize that you're never too young – and you don't need much – to make a difference.
by Vanessa Clayton, age 14
THE LITTLE GIRL WHO DARED TO WISH
As Amy Hagadorn rounded the corner across the hall from her classroom, she collided with a tall boy from the fifth grade running in the opposite direction.
"Watch it, squirt," the boy yelled, as he dodged around the little third grader. Then, with a smirk on his face, the boy took hold of his right leg and mimicked the way Amy limped when she walked.
Amy closed her eyes for a moment.
Ignore him, she told herself as she headed for her classroom.
But at the end of the day, Amy was still thinking about the tall boy's mean teasing. It wasn't as if he were the only one. It seemed that ever since Amy started the third grade, someone teased her every single day. Kids teased her about her speech or her limping. Amy was tired of it. Sometimes, even in a classroom full of other students, the teasing made her feel all alone.
Back home at the dinner table that evening Amy was quiet. Her mother knew that things were not going well at school. That's why Patti Hagadorn was happy to have some exciting news to share with her daughter.
"There's a Christmas Wish Contest on the radio station," Amy's mom announced. "Write a letter to Santa and you might win a prize. I think someone at this table with blond curly hair should enter."
Amy giggled. The contest sounded like fun. She started thinking about what she wanted most for Christmas.
A smile took hold of Amy when the idea first came to her. Out came pencil and paper and Amy went to work on her letter. "Dear Santa Claus," she began.
While Amy worked away at her best printing, the rest of the family tried to guess what she might ask from Santa. Amy's sister, Jamie, and Amy's mom both thought a 3-foot Barbie Doll would top Amy's wish list. Amy's dad guessed a picture book. But Amy wasn't ready to reveal her secret Christmas wish just then. Here is Amy's letter to Santa, just as she wrote it that night:
Dear Santa Claus,
My name is Amy. I am 9 years old. I have a problem at school. Can you help me, Santa? Kids laugh at me because of the way I walk and run and talk. I have cerebral palsy. I just want one day where no one laughs at me or makes fun of me.
Love, Amy
At radio station WJLT in Fort Wayne, Indiana, letters poured in for the Christmas Wish Contest. The workers had fun reading about all the different presents that boys and girls from across the city wanted for Christmas.
When Amy's letter arrived at the radio station, manager Lee Tobin read it carefully. He knew cerebral palsy was a muscle disorder that might confuse the schoolmates of Amy who didn't understand her disability. He thought it would be good for the people in Fort Wayne to hear about this special third grader and her unusual wish. Mr. Tobin called up the local newspaper.
The next day, a picture of Amy and her letter to Santa made the front page of The News Sentinel. The story spread quickly. All across the country, newspapers and radio and television stations reported the story of the little girl in Fort Wayne, Indiana, who asked for such a simple, yet remarkable, Christmas gift - just one day without teasing.
Suddenly the postman was a regular at the Hagadorn house. Envelopes of all sizes addressed to Amy arrived daily from children and adults all across the nation. They came filled with holiday greetings and words of encouragement.
During that unforgettable Christmas season, over two thousand people from all over the world sent Amy letters of friendship and support. Amy and her family read every single one. Some of the writers had disabilities; some had been teased as children.
Each writer had a special message for Amy. Through the cards and letters from strangers, Amy glimpsed a world full of people who truly cared about each other. She realized that no amount or form of teasing could ever make her feel lonely again.
Many people thanked Amy for being brave enough to speak up. Others encouraged her to ignore teasing and to carry her head high. Lynn, a sixth grader from Texas, sent this message:
"I would like to be your friend," she wrote, "and if you want to visit me, we could have fun. No one would make fun of us, cause, if they do, we will not even hear them."
Amy did get her wish of a special day without teasing at South Wayne Elementary School . Additionally, everyone at school got an added bonus. Teachers and students talked together about how bad teasing can make others feel.
That year, the Fort Wayne mayor officially proclaimed December 21st as Amy Jo Hagadorn Day throughout the city. The mayor explained that by daring to make such a simple wish, Amy taught a universal lesson.
"Everyone," said the mayor, "wants and deserves to be treated with respect, dignity and warmth."
~ By Alan D. Shultz
Illustrations: Ms. Lyn Kriegler Elliot
Batgirl
By: Dandi Dailey Mackall
Summary: Dandi won a batboy essay contest for the Kansas City A's, but was quickly disqualified because of her gender. Dandi will serve as an honorary batgirl during Royals batting practice and will sit in the Buck O'Neil Legacy Seat. Earlier in the day, Dandi will read from her book A Girl Named Dan to students at Roesland Elementary School, 4900 Parish in Shawnee Mission, Kan., at 11 a.m. The Royals make Dandi "Dan" Mackall's dream of being a batgirl come true!
With Every Footstep
By: Shannon Miller
Summary: She was in the Vault finals at the 1996 Olympic Games. She did not get on the vault horse and the right place and had performed an outrageous flip, thus being embarrassed. She was reminded by her mother that God is always by her side and competed in the Beam Finals the next day, grateful for the chance. She aced her routine. She had felt the comfort and strength of God’s presence with every footstep of her routine. She took home an Gold Olympic Medal that night.
We Never Told Him He Couldn't Do It
When my son Joey was born, his feet were twisted upward with the bottoms resting on his tummy. As a first-time mother, I thought this looked odd, but I didn't really know what it meant. It meant that Joey had been born with club feet. The doctors assured us that with treatment he would be able to walk normally, but would probably never run very well. The first three years of this life, Joey spent in surgery, casts and braces. His legs were massaged, worked and exercised, and, yes, by the time he was seven or eight you wouldn't even know he'd had a problem if you watched him walk.
If he walked great distances, like at the amusement parks or on a visit to the zoo, he complained that his legs were tired and that they hurt. We would stop walking, take a break with a soda or ice cream cone and talk about what we had seen and what we had to see. We didn't tell him why his legs hurt and why they were weak. We didn't tell him this was expected due to his deformity at birth. We didn't tell him, so he didn't know.
The children in our neighborhood ran around as most children do during play. Joey would watch them play and, of course would jump right in and run and play too. We never told him that he probably wouldn't be able to run as well as the other children. We didn't tell him he was different. We didn't tell him. So he didn't know.
In seventh grade he decided to go out for the cross-country team. Every day he trained with the team. He seemed to work harder and run more than any of the others. Perhaps he sensed that the abilities that seemed to come naturally to so many others did not come naturally to him. We didn't tell him that although he could run, he probably would always remain in the back of the pack. We didn't tell him that he shouldn't expect to make the "team". The team runners are the top seven runners of the school. Although the entire team runs, it is only these seven who will have potential to score points for the school. We didn't tell him he probably would never make the "team," so he didn't know.
He continued to run four or five miles a day, every day. I'll never forget the time he had a 103-degree fever. He couldn't stay home because he had cross-country practice. I worried about him all day. I expected to get a call from the school asking me to come get him and take him home. No one called.
I went out to the cross-country training area after school, thinking that if I were there, he might decide to skip practice that evening. When I got to the school, he was running along the side of a long tree-lined street, all alone. I pulled up alongside of him and drove slowly to keep pace with him as he ran. I asked how he felt. "Okay," he said. He only has two more miles to go. As the sweat rolled down his face, his eyes were glassy from his fever. Yet he looked straight ahead and kept running. We never told him he couldn't run four miles with a 103-degree fever. We never told him. So he didn't know.
Two weeks later, the day before the second to the last race of the season, the names of the "team" runners were called. Joey was number 6 on the list. Joey had made the "team." He was in seventh grade. The other six team members were all eighth-graders. We never told him he probably shouldn't expect to make the "team." We never told him he couldn't do it. We never told him he couldn't do it...so he didn't know. He just did it.
Kathy Lamancusa
Taken from : http://www.worldtaekwondo.com/newsletter.htm#Socks%20for%20Kerry
BTW PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO POST LINES FROM THE STUFF WE DID THIS WEEK PLEASE.
thank you (:
hey people! (: here's some research on arranged marriages.
The Bride Price
Photographs by STEPHANIE SINCLAIRText by BARRY BEARAK
Published: July 9, 2006In many societies, the term "child bride" calls to mind impetuous sweethearts, a ladder cautiously positioned beneath a bedroom window, a silent kiss in the moonlight and a young couple making an anxious getaway to a justice of the peace. But this is not a ready image the world over. In Afghanistan, a child bride is very often just that: a child, even a preteen, her innocence betrothed to someone older, even much, much older.
Stephanie Sinclair for The New York Times
Ghulam Haider, 11, is to be married to Faiz Mohammed, 40. She had hoped to be a teacher but was forced to quit her classes when she became engaged.
Multimedia
Roshan Qasem, 11, will join the household of Said Mohammed, 55; his first wife; their three sons; and their daughter, who is the same age as Roshan.
Rather than a willing union between a man and woman, marriage is frequently a transaction among families, and the younger the bride, the higher the price she may fetch. Girls are valuable workers in a land where survival is scratched from the grudging soil of a half-acre parcel. In her parents' home, a girl can till fields, tend livestock and cook meals. In her husband's home, she is more useful yet. She can have sex and bear children.
Afghanistan is not alone in this predilection toward early wedlock. Globally, the number of child brides is hard to tabulate; they live mostly in places where births, deaths and the human milestones in between go unrecorded. But there are estimates. About 1 in 7 girls in the developing world (excluding China) gets married before her 15th birthday, according to analyses done by the Population Council, an international research group.
In the huge Indian states of Rajasthan and Uttar Pradesh, the proportion is 36 percent; in Bangladesh, 37 percent; in northwest Nigeria, 48 percent; in the Amhara region of Ethiopia, 50 percent. Tens of millions of girls are having babies before their bodies are mature enough, increasing the likelihood of death from hemorrhaging, obstructed labor and other complications.
Stephanie Sinclair's striking photographs of child brides in Afghanistan remind me of my own travels over remote landscapes during the time of the Taliban, when recurring years of drought had parched the final resources from millions of the destitute. Fathers then were especially keen to convert their daughters into brides. It was a way to deliver the girl from hunger — and a way to at least temporarily ward off famine for the rest of the family. Young boys were sold into bondage with the same painful practicality. Rarely have I seen anything more heartbreaking than the tears of a relinquished child.
The drought has since passed, but the poverty remains, as does the widespread custom of early marriage. Some Afghans readily use their daughters to settle debts and assuage disputes. Polygamy is practiced. A man named Mohammed Fazal, 45, told Sinclair that village elders had urged him to take his second wife, 13-year-old Majabin, in lieu of money owed him by the girl's father. The two men had been gambling at cards while also ingesting opium and hashish.
But the practice of early marriage stems as much from entrenched culture as from financial need. Bridal virginity is a matter of honor. Afghan men want to marry virgins, and parents prefer to yield their daughters before misbehavior or abduction has brought the family shame and made any wedding impossible.
Unfortunately, there are no reliable data about the age of Afghans at marriage. Husbands are not ordinarily old enough to be their wives' fathers or grandfathers, but such February-September couples as those pictured here are hardly rare either. In such marriages, the man is likely to view the age difference as a fair bargain, his years of experience in exchange for her years of fecundity. At the same time, the girl's wishes are customarily disregarded. Her marriage will end her opportunities for schooling and independent work.
On the day she witnessed the engagement party of 11-year-old Ghulam Haider to 40-year-old Faiz Mohammed, Sinclair discreetly took the girl aside. "What are you feeling today?" the photographer asked. "Nothing," the bewildered girl answered. "I do not know this man. What am I supposed to feel?"
-Jia Chee
Here's the research that I shared that day during Drama :)
FACTS:1) 1) A tradition in Indian society for the past centuries
2) Factors taken into consideration include age, height, personal values, tastes, family background (wealth/ social status) and etc.
3) In India, 1.1% of marriages result in divorce (because there are a lot of arranged marriages)
4) In USA, over 45.8% result in divorce. Fewer arranged marriages, higher divorce rate.
5) Said to be more stable than love marriages
6) Definition: An arranged marriage is a marriage in which neither the bride nor the groom has any official say over the selection of their future spouses. However, in an arranged marriage, both parties give full consent to the marriage.
7) Arranged marriages have been a successful traditional aspect of family life in many cultures for many years.
8) The rise of cell phones has made long-distance courtships easier. A small 2006 study from a University of Washington researcher found that young Indians living in Bangalore used cell phones to get to know partners introduced to them by their parents.
9) Through sites like Shaadi.com ("shaadi" means "wedding" in Hindi) and BharatMatrimony.com, parents can create a profile for their child for matchmaking.
Stories/ Accounts:1)1) 16.5 carat wedding (Straits Times) involving 2 extremely wealthy families
2) ROMEO AND JULIET (Shakespeare)
3)
http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/culture/features/11621/“I’ve been fielding such messages—or, rather, my father has—more and more these days, having crossed the unmarriageable threshold for an Indian woman, 30, two years ago. My parents, in a very earnest bid to secure my eternal happiness, have been trying to marry me off to, well, just about anyone lately. In my childhood home near Sacramento, my father is up at night on arranged-marriage Websites. And the result—strange e-mails from boys’ fathers and stranger dates with those boys themselves—has become so much a part of my dating life that I’ve lost sight of how bizarre it once seemed.”
“Still, for years, I didn’t want to get married the way my brother did. He’d met his wife through a newspaper ad my parents had taken out. He’s very happily married, with a baby daughter, but he also never had a girlfriend before his wedding day.”
4)
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/23/web.arranged.marriages/index.html“When it was time for Sabiha Ansari to get married, her parents flew her to India. She met her husband-to-be for less than 20 minutes, with family, then was asked whether she liked him.
“That was really hard for me," she says. "I kind of wanted to have some time alone with him to talk to him, or even on the phone."
But she said yes, and they were married five days later. That was in 1991
5)
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/23/web.arranged.marriages/index.html“Things were different for Sabiha's younger sister, Huma Ansari, in 2005.
"Sometimes it feels weird for me to even call it an arranged marriage because I feel like I got to know my husband pretty well," says the 27-year-old Richmond, Virginia, optometrist.
She and her husband, Saud Rahman, 29, a medical resident, were introduced through family friends at a casual dinner, then e-mailed and called each other for several months. They married a year later.”
6)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1041771/They-told-I-servant-says-Muslim-bride-beaten-day-flown-Pakistan-arranged-marriage.htmlThe relative of a young Muslim bride who was beaten every day and treated like a servant after an arranged marriage, described a catalogue of abuse the woman experienced today.
Zahida Khan told St Albans Crown Court her cousin Sania Bibi, 20, had described a range of incidents she suffered at the hands of her husband and mother-in-law.
Mrs Bibi was allegedly abused and treated like a slave after she arrived in Britain from Pakistan following the marriage in April 2006.
7) Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s book, “Arranged Marriage” (1995)
In the story “Doors,” the character Preeti, after moving to the United States, has come to love the western idea of privacy. She faces a dilemma when her husband’s cousin wants to come live with them. She expresses her discontent with the situation, which shows her newfound decisiveness and her fight against her husband’s view of a traditional Indian wife.
8) Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s book, “Arranged Marriage” (1995)
In the story “Clothes,” the husband of the narrator, Sumita, dies and she is faced with the decision of staying in America or going back to India to live with her in-laws. Sumita calls widows who are serving their in-laws in India “doves with cutoff wings.”
/CHERMAINE WONG
